One thing I have learned as a marriage and sex therapist is that our role models have fallen short in instructing us how to have a thriving marriage. It’s not their fault; they just did not know. The good news is that there are guides “out there” and resources inside of each one of us that could help us experience the committed relationship we would love to have. So read between the lines in this article!
Here are 7 ways to MAKE SURE YOUR PARTNER WILL LEAVE YOU!
- Do what is comfortable for you. Don’t extend yourself and only give of yourself when it is convenient.
- Do not develop feeling skills, especially, if you are a man. See feelings as a waste of time, listening as unnecessary and believe that there is no need to be careful how you express yourself.
- Treat your partner as if he or she is a clone of yourself. Don’t try to be understanding of the differences and insist on constant agreement.
- Only arrange dates on your anniversary and each other’s birthday. Otherwise, there are many good TV shows to watch and your evenings can be taken up with surfing the net because there is an abundance of great information out there. Your partner’s need for attention should be trivialized and seen as unimportant.
- When it comes to sex, don’t risk, don’t express something new and don’t deviate from your sexual routine.
- Focus on the plethora of negative and hurtful things your partner has done. If you forgive, you just may be hurt again, so keep that wall up and then you won’t be so disappointed when your flawed partner doesn’t come through for you once in a while.
- Use your partner as a receptacle for your all your pain and frustration. Yell when you are angry and withdraw when you are not getting your way. These fight or flight mechanisms will continue to help you release or avoid your tension even if it destroys your relationship.
If one or more of these “ways” seem familiar, contact me and we can do something about it!